KITT Failed Emissions Test, Hit Rock Bottom

I frequently had sex in that car, I didn't know it was really able to think.

KITT, commonly understood to stand for Knight Industries Talking Toy, was the co-star of the wildly popular TV series “Knight Rider” and a sentient being¹.  By all outward appearances KITT was a Pontiac Grand Am, but inside he was “dark and secretive,” says Dan Gurfinger, the studio mechanic.

After the series “Knight Rider” ended in 1986 KITT fell on hard times.  Americans no longer wanted a car that talked back, they wanted a car that was reliable, affordable, and got 25+ MPG.   In the spring of 1988 KITT found himself living² on the street.

Things did not get any better for KITT, California is a dangerous place to be a car.  KITT was in several “fender benders”³, three major wrecks, and an unknown number of parking lot “dings”.  Routinely the homeless would sleep and BM in KITT’s back seat, or teenagers would steal KITT for a joy-ride and try to steal the stereo⁴.

The last straw came when California increased it’s emissions standards for non-commercial vehicles.  KITT’s programming forced him to comply with all laws, even the ones that would destroy him.

It was years later, when the network wanted to do a reunion show, people were unable to find KITT.  A private detective tracked KITT down and was able to confirm what everybody had feared.  KITT had been placed in a scrapyard, destroyed, melted and forged anew in drywall screws.

Notes:

¹At the time very few people knew the term sentient, as “Star Trek: The Next Generation” would not come to television until 1987.
²Driving, parking.
³All the fault of uninsured drivers.
⁴This of course left KITT mute, and unable to seek the help he needed.