My business associate: General Abacha
It must have been my reputation as a shrewd and wise business dealer, though I had no idea my reputation went so far as Africa, because I was approached by email by Clement Okon to help him access 42 million dollars which have been frozen during an investigation of former President-For-Life General Sani Abacha who was unjustly removed from power by a bloodthirsty mob of voters exercising democracy.
General Abacha is being accused of many “crimes against humanity” and that the $42 million was “stolen from the poorest of the nation”. That is just the democraticly controlled news media and biased courts trying to line the public coffers by taking it from a man who gave a good portion of the best years of his life in the service of his country.
Conceptual image of what my garage will look like.
There are many barriers to retrieving the Generals money, that’s why they chose me to help. I know a thing or three about getting things done in bureaucracies, I worked for University Housing when I was an undergrad at Illinois State University. I owe much of my business sense and good judgment to my mentors at ISU. GO REDBIRDS!
I know I need to grease the wheels a bit. Nothing cuts through red tape like cold hard cash. So I’ve sent $20,000 to Mr. Okon as an investment. AND WHAT AN INVESTMENT! I figure with my share of the money (around $30 million) I will pay off my student loans, and my house, and with the rest of the money I will respond to some of the others in Africa who have asked for financial assistance in similar matters, if those opprotunities are still available. I don’t want to go into it here, sorry, I just don’t trust you not to try to beat me to them.
The check for $30 million should be here any day.
Fact Checked 